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Praise the Lord my brothers and sisters, it’s Moses here at ChristianMotivation. As always, I’m delighted to share with you the things that I believe will help you reign in life. It’s such an honor for me to be doing this, and I’m so blessed.
Today, we are going to continue talking about the four things that determine the quality of our lives. We’ve already discussed three and today we are discussing the last one, which is relationships. If you’re reading this article somewhere else other than the website, I want to encourage you to go to ChristianMotivation.tv where you’ll be able to find the first three things that we discussed.
In our previous articles we mentioned that there are four things that determine the quality of our lives and these are: our thoughts, our decisions and the choices we make, our relationships and our time. We began by discussing how we can be able to use our time wisely in order to determine where we want to go, and hence the quality of life we want to have. We looked at the scripture where the Psalmist asked God to teach him how to number his days so that he may apply himself to wisdom. This prayer is still answered by God today. We also learned how we can be able to manage our time in order to achieve the required results.
In the second article, we talked about thoughts. We said that thoughts are like seeds that are planted into our hearts and into our minds; whatever we do with those seeds is really up to us. We can uproot the seeds and throw them away, that is, if we don’t want the kind of seeds that have been thrown into our garden (mind or heart or both); or we can water them by meditation and eventually bring forth the kind of fruit we desire. Now, it does matter what seed it is. If it’s a bad seed and you water it, you’ll bring forth fruit but it will be, of course, bad fruit. If it’s a good seed and you water it, you’ll bring forth fruit, and it’ll be a good fruit. We said that seeds can be in form of a temptation, ideas, or a word from God; but whatever you do with those seeds or thoughts is really up to you. Remember that as a man thinks, so is he. Your thoughts really determine your future. They determine the quality of your life.
In the last session, I talked to you about decisions or the choices that we make. And we said that, really, the life you are living today is the result of the decisions that were made yesterday and again today, you’re making choices and decisions about your life tomorrow. I shared with you some pointers on how to make better choices and decisions.
Today we are going to talk about relationships and I will share a few pointers or a few things on relationships and that will cover this series.
First and foremost, as we all know, we have two types of relationships, the vertical relationship and the horizontal relationships. The vertical is our relationship with God, and the horizontal is our relationship with man.
A Lawyer came to Jesus and asked him what the great commandment was. Jesus said that the first and great commandment was to love the Lord, our God, with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our minds. He then added that the second was just like the first, to love your neighbor even as you love yourself. He concluded that on these two hang all the Law and the prophets. In other words, He said that the rest of the other commandments really hinge on these two, loving God and loving our neighbor. In saying this, we must realize that He was talking about two relationships. Our relationship with God our father and then our relationship with our fellow human beings. Those are the two most important relationships.
Now I must say that if the vertical relationship is not very good, or is not in order, you will find it very hard to have your horizontal relationships in order. As children of God, our vertical relationship is very important because there are things that we cannot do on our own. There are things that the Word of God tells us that are, humanly speaking, very hard or even impossible to do for example we really need to understand God’s love to be able to love people. I mean, when the Bible talks about loving your enemy, it is almost impossible for natural man to do without God’s love in us. It is impossible. So you see how it is very, very important that our relationship with the Father is kept strong if our relationship with man is to be what it needs to be.
When considering relationships and how they determine the quality of our lives, our vertical relationship, that is our relationship with God, is the most important. We always need to ask ourselves, “Do I have a relationship with my father?”; “Do I really know God as my father?” In some situations when I pray, I ask God to reveal himself to me as God; and in other situations I ask him to teach me to relate to him as the father. In other words, there are times when I just want him to reveal and manifest himself as God hence showing his power on my behalf. I want him to come and fight my battles because I want him to be God in that particular situation. But then there are times when I just go to him and ask him to show himself as father; to know his love, to fellowship with him and maybe just to enjoy him. Not that he changes. He is everything to me and He can very competently handle both roles in my life.
Many people, on the other hand, only know him as God Almighty, someone big and out there, unreachable, but with the last word and therefore they feel that they can not come close to him or really just enjoy him. If you have such a relationship with him and you don’t know him as your father, you cannot be free with him, then you are missing out and you have not really understood who your father is. That is why it’s very, very important that you get to a point that you know him as your Loving Father. That’s why Paul prayed for the Ephesians that they may know God’s love. Understanding the love of God will totally transform your life. It will bring you to a realization that you don’t have to perform for God. You don’t have to put up appearances trying to get points from him because you will come to an understanding that you are his son or daughter, and that He loves you no matter what. You or anybody else cannot change that. So you need to have a relationship with our father God. Not according to religious opinions, or traditions or anything like that. Just a relationship, where you can learn to hang out with God and enjoy him. Forget trying to impress him. He knows everything about you. You cannot impress him. He just loves you as you are. As you continue to know him and to understand his love, if there is an area in your life that needs to be worked on or changed, he will take care of it. All you have to do is to learn to be in a relationship with him. That is what is important.
Establishing a relationship with our father God will definitely teach us how to handle our relationships with man. It all begins with our father and then it will be easier for our relationship with man.
Relationships with our fellow man can be categorized in two kinds. There are relationships that we cannot change and then those that we can change. Let me throw more light to this. When I said relationships that we cannot change, I’m talking about blood relationships. For example, if somebody is your father, you cannot change that. If somebody is your sister or brother, you cannot change that. Those are blood relationships. I have heard people talk about disowning their children or parents. You cannot really change that. If you give birth to somebody, then they are your children regardless of what you do. You can give them up for adoption, but you cannot change the fact that they are your children. You are connected by blood. I don’t care whether you say you disown them or you give them up for adoption or you just don’t care about them. You cannot change the very fact that you are their biological father.
Then we have those relationships that you can change. These are the non-blood relationships like friends, employers/employees and pastor. Such relationships can be changed.
Now, in relationships whether you can change them or not, you can determine whether they influence you or you influence them. In the blood relationship, that is, the one you cannot change, it is important to determine whether there is influence or not. On the other hand, in the non-blood relationship you can decide to totally change it so it doesn’t matter whether there is influence or not. But in both cases, you can decide or determine whether there is influence or not.
There are three ways that relationships influence:
1) There is a relationship that influences you. In other words, you are the one being influenced. Examples of such a relationship are the parent-child relationship, Pastor-Congregation relationship, Employer-employee relationship and Mentor-mentee relationship. Usually
2) There is a relationship with mutual influence. This is where the persons in a relationship influence one another. In the bible it is described as iron sharpening iron. An example of such a relationship is friends who influence one another, siblings, Husband and wife (as God intended it to be).
3) The relationship where you are the one who is influencing somebody. For example, where the parent is influencing the children, or the boss influencing the employee, or better still the mentor influencing the mentee.
Now, all those three influences, I believe, are very important. We all need those influences in our relationships. You need to have someone who can speak into your life like your parent or your pastor. Someone you can learn from, who has gone ahead of you. Someone you can confide in and ask for some guidance. A person that you can really trust to walk you through some life situations and point you in the word direction. Someone who is not afraid to tell you the truth in love. We all need that kind of relationship.
Then, we also need a relationship where you have a friend or a brother or let’s say, in marriage, where you just, again, stand with one another. This could be someone you confide in or a fellow pilgrim on life’s journey. Proverbs 18:24 says that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. I love that scripture because it shows you the power of friends and the power of friendship. I believe the beginning part of that verse says that a man that has friends must show himself friendly. In any case we all need someone in our life whom we can hang out with and laugh, cry, someone you can call in the middle of the night to talk knowing he/she will not be angry with you but will stand with you. Someone who will stand with you when everyone else is running away from you. We need that kind of relationships influence.
Lastly, we need to have a relationship where you are the one influencing somebody. Blessing them, giving out, and pouring out your heart into someone else. The Word of God says it’s more blessed to give than to receive. We need to be able to invest into someone else. It may be someone you are mentoring, tutoring, or teaching. It may be your subordinate or employee at work. It is imperative that we nurture these relationships and cease to look at them as this is me and that is my employee – we need to learn how, as children of God, to shine as the light of the world and be the salt of the earth.
Let’s not take these relationships for granted. Find out which side of the influence you are on and play your part. We all have gifts that God has placed on the inside of us.
These gifts are not to benefit us but they are to benefit the body of Christ. We are part of this body so these gifts are to benefit others and their gifts will also benefit us. You don’t use your gift for selfish ends. In Proverbs, Solomon, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, tells us that our gifts will place us before kings. We, the children of God, have been made kings and priests. So you see that the gift placing you before kings is not because you are using it for yourself but it’s because you are using it to minister to others. In our discussion about gifts, we will see how all these things fit together. In the meantime, we need to know that having relationships where we invest in others is essential.
So, those are the three influences in relationships that we need to look out for and carefully endeavor to build in our lives because they have the potential to determine the quality of our lives. We need to know who is speaking into our lives, what kind of pastor we have submitted ourselves under and are all these people really speaking based on the Word of God or their own opinions.
You remember, earlier, how we talked about the parents-children influence. We said that even though this relationship, once activated, cannot be changed, you can determine whether your parents influence you or not. If you realize that you have a parent who is not a good influence and you are of age, you can choose to make better decisions than the ones your parents are making or have made, may be, for them and/or for you in the past. There are parents out there that are really, really not a good influence. One person who really blessed me when I heard her testimony was Joyce Meyer. In her testimony she talks about her relationship with her Dad and how she determined that she was not going to let her father influence her despite the fact that this was a relationship she could not be changed (a blood relationship). As it turned out, at the end of her Dad’s life, blessed be God, it was the daughter that had influenced the father. If you haven’t heard of that testimony, I encourage you to go to Joyce Meyer’s ministry website and you will be blessed. The point I am trying to put forward to you is that even though it’s a blood relationship that you cannot change, you can determine whether you let it influence you or not.
When it comes to friends or mutual influence relationships, you need to make sure that you have people who are influencing you in the right way, not in the bad way. In ICorinthians15:33, the Word of God says that bad company corrupts good morals. So you don’t want to keep company that is going to take you in the direction you don’t want. You always want to make sure that the people you surround yourself with are people that are taking you in the direction that will bring the desired quality of life you want.
One of the hardest things for us to do, as people, is to let go of friends. Never the less, you have to realize that you cannot keep friends who are taking you in the direction opposite to where you want to go. You have to come to a point where you have to make a choice. Remember we talked about choices and how they determine the quality of our lives; If those friends cannot change for the better, instead of trying to change them (making yourself the Holy Spirit), you could make a better decision of changing that relationship. Now, let me say something very important here. We mentioned earlier that marriage was a mutual influence relationship. There are people that may come up with excuses that since their marriage seem not to be working out, they need to change partners. I think one of the things that we must understand is that marriage, as much as it’s a mutual influence relationship, it is also a covenant relationship which makes it a cannot change relationship. A marriage covenant is as good as a blood covenant. A person may say, ‘Oh! I did not make a blood covenant’; but if you are in marriage and you have known your spouse – and when I talk about knowing your spouse, I’m talking about knowing as in the Bible way (Adam knew his wife Eve) — then you are joined together by a covenant to the extent that you are no longer two but one. It sure is a mystery! You have moved far beyond the area of friend relationship to covenant or strong-friend relationship. I suggest you don’t take that lightly thinking you can just change marriages as you so wish. You’ve got to realize now that it is you and him or you and her and the only other third party you need to bring into that relationship is God. I do believe that when you have God in that relationship, there’s nothing that you cannot work out. So, that relationship is something even stronger than the non-blood. That is why I put it under the cannot change relationship, which is the blood relationship. I wanted to make sure I clarify that. We have to be very, very careful when it comes to the marriage relationship.
Concerning the relationship where you are the one influencing the other party, it is important to make sure that you are really making the best choices and decisions. Paul said something that is very powerful but he must have been very careful when saying it. He said “follow me as I follow Jesus Christ.” That is so profound. In other words, he put himself in a position whereby he was saying, ‘I’m doing the best I can to follow Jesus to the very minute detail and I am confident that if someone follows me he/she will not miss the way.’ That is very powerful.
Now, I want you to think about your life. Could you say something like that? Could you be that kind of person who is so confident in your walk with the Lord, in the way you look up to God, that you can really tell somebody else who is looking up to you to just look at your life and they will be on target? As a pastor, could you be able to say something like that to your disciples? Can you tell them that you have them very well taken care of because you are so confident that you are looking up to Jesus and if they follow you, they will get to the right destination? Can you genuinely say that about yourself? That is what we need to be.
What I want to talk to you about now is Jesus. When we look at Jesus, we see that he had compassion on the multitudes; and multitudes followed him. Again the scriptures say that he had 72 disciples that he sent out two by two. He later chose 12 disciples; and again out of the 12 he selected a core of 3. You see how we cannot be friends with everyone? However we have an opportunity to choose our friends. You may have many acquaintances and relatives; but you will always have one, two or, at the most, three true friends. I’m talking about the Proverbs 18:24 friend; the one who sticks closer than a brother.
So let’s think together; who are those friends? Or who is that friend in your life? Do you have such a friend? Someone you can call upon at any time? Someone you can talk to about something and you are sure, you will never find it somewhere else. Better still are you that kind of friend to someone? With those three types of influential relationships, we can go further and ask ourselves; who is influencing me? Who is your mutual influence? And finally, who am I influencing? As you focus on that, my prayer is that you’ll evaluate you relationships, find out what kind they are, make the necessary changes so that you can head in the direction that will produce the quality of life that you desire.
I would like to say that much as I have enjoyed going through the series of the four things that determine the quality of life, it is my desire that you take the time to dig deeper and look at them again. Take an inventory of your life to see where you are; where you want to go; and what quality of life you desire to have. Then start making the right changes to head to where you want to go.
Let me just take a moment to pray with you about this. But before we pray, there is something that we must understand. We may want to do all these things we have discussed in our series. We may come to the realization that all these things are important and good to do; but I believe that without the help of our Father, God, we are just operating in our own strength and I will assure you, that will not get us very far. The Word of God says that it’s not by power; nor by strength/might, but by God’s Spirit.
Jesus promised his disciples that he was going to ask the father to send us the helper, the Holy Spirit. We are so blessed that we have the Holy Spirit now to help us. We are not by ourselves. We were not left comfortless. Jesus also promised never to leave us or forsake us until the end of the age.
We have a father who cares about us. We have a relationship with the Father, Jesus Christ the Son and the Holy Spirit. God, all three in one, desires to see us bear fruit and excel in life. When we bear fruit, our father is glorified.
A quality life is the life that brings glory to God. When your life is not in good shape, when you are not enjoying a good life, God is not glorified or honored. He really desires that we enjoy our life. And ultimately live a quality life.
I believe that as children of God, when we live a quality life, we show forth the praises of our God. When people see this king of life that can’t help but want to find out how come we are so blessed, happy, and enjoying life. We can then be able to point them to the Jesus the Savior. Remember that we are his ambassadors in this world (People that are here to reflect and represent the kingdom of God in the earth).
Now let me pray with you today that the father will enable us to work on quality in our lives.
Father, in the name of Jesus, we are so thankful for who you are and for what you are to us. We are so blessed to know you as our father. We are so blessed that you sent your Son Jesus Christ to deliver us from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. We thank you father because your Word says that you’ve created us for your own pleasure. We thank you because your Word says that you’ve created us for good works. And we thank you because you’ve given us the earth to enjoy, to have dominion, and we know that Lord, you delight in knowing that we are enjoying our lives. So right now, I thank you for these four things that you revealed to me and that I’ve shared with my brothers and sisters. I thank you for the things that you continue to reveal to us even as we continue to meditate on the things that we just talked about in this series.
I pray, as the Psalmist, that you teach us how to number our days; that we may apply our hearts to understanding. I pray that you will teach us how to make better decisions and choices. Help us to choose the path of life. I pray, Father, that you will teach us how to think on the things that are honest and of a good report. Things that pertain to the mind of Christ. Your word says that we have the mind of Christ, so I pray that we will learn how to use the mind of Christ. I also pray Father that we will be careful about the kind of relationships we have.
Father, my desire and prayer is that in all this, we will learn to submit under your mighty hand and under the leadership of the Holy Spirit. That we will hear your voice continuously speaking to us. That our hearts will be receptive to you and to what you want to do in us. We surrender to you and refuse to work in our own wisdom and understanding; but we acknowledge you in all our ways.
We refuse to try to impress by our works; but we just choose to surrender, to believe, and to trust in you. We give you praise and we give you glory for what you are doing in our lives. We thank you, Father, in Jesus’ great and mighty name; Amen.
My brothers and my sisters, it has been an honor to be able to share with you the things that will help us reign in life. Again, I want to encourage you that if you know somebody that will find these things helpful, encourage them to visit the website, ChristianMotivation.tv, so that they can have an opportunity to learn and to use the resources that are there. Next time, we will be starting a series about prayer. So look out for that.
For now, let me say that God bless you and keep the faith. Go out there and reign in life.
Tags: Bad Fruit, Bad Seed, Brothers And Sisters, Choices, Decisions, Desire, Four Things, God, Good Seed, Heart, Hearts, Meditation, Moses, Nbsp, Powerpress, Praise The Lord, Prayer, Psalmist, Quality Of Life, Relationships, Scripture, Seeds, Wisdom
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